


i wanna be adored

by gosh_zillah



Series: sensations of a normal man [5]
Category: Black Mirror, Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)
Genre: Dom/sub, M/M, OC is Colin's old friend from uni, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 02:27:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17438165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gosh_zillah/pseuds/gosh_zillah
Summary: Colin's friend hangs around the flat while he's in town. He's got his eyes on Stefan.





	i wanna be adored

Stefan wakes up to an empty bed, pleasantly sore and a bit chilled. He stretches his arms above his head and listens to the pops in his spine. 

“Col?” Stefan calls into the apartment. 

“In here, darling.” Colin answers from the living room. 

Stefan moves to get up, under the rustle of the blankets he hears another voice, male but certainly not Colin’s. He searches around, digs in the drawers for a pair of pajama pants and leaves the room. He pads towards the living room, his stomach in his throat, heart pounding. Colin’s mixtape is playing lowly from the radio and the song changes as he walks into the open air of the living room. 

And I was gripped by that deadly phantom  
I followed him through hard jungles

Colin looks up at him, smiling slightly like he only ever does when someone isn’t looking. But someone is looking- their guest sits in the chair opposite Colin. He’s older than them both- if only slightly older than Colin but his cheekbones are high, his chin sharp and covered in thick, premature salt and pepper stubble. He’s got laugh lines on his face and his eyes drag slowly over every inch of Stefan’s bare skin, pausing on every single one of the marks on his skin. 

“Come here, love.” Colin calls, holding out a hand. 

Stefan does, floating to him, tearing his eyes away from the stranger to Colin who is still holding his hand out like he’s trying not to spook a frightened animal. Stefan takes that hand and Colin tugs him gently to his side before pulling him down on his lap so he’s still facing the stranger. 

Colin loves Stefan in his lap, loves to hold him still and spread Stefan out on top of him but this feels so performative- like he staking a claim, like he’s showing him off. Stefan can feel Colin nod his head forward to the stranger, who smiles at him soft and kind. 

“This is Victor, an old friend.” Colin says, running his hands over Stefan’s back which is still sticky from where he had rubbed his semen into Stefan’s skin. Stefan remembers how he had trembled, had pressed into that touch. 

“Vic, this is Stefan.” 

Stefan assumes he needs no introduction. 

“Hello, lovely.” Victor greets, “nice of you to join us. Me and Colin were just catching up.” 

Victor lights a joint then, takes a long, deep drag and runs his eyes all along Stefan again like he’s savoring both. Stefan nods back at him, unable to speak, doesn’t trust his voice. Colin strokes along his shoulders, his belly, the length of his arms.

The two of them go back to talking again, it must be for a while because soon Stefan finds him leaning his head against Colin’s shoulder- almost ready to go back to sleep. He feels hot, sluggishly aroused in way that he chooses to ignore. He doesn’t pay attention to what they say, he pays attention to Victor’s eyes on him, Colin’s hands that almost seem like they are touching him for Victor. Stefan half way wonders if the two of them established a look, don’t touch policy before Stefan had joined them. 

Stefan remembers before he met Colin, how people had flirted with him- how he had always failed to notice until the exact moment he was being kissed, or propositioned. How he had stammered and blushed so much that they had assumed he didn't want it. Sometimes those people apologized, sometimes they just left. 

Now, he knows without a shadow of a doubt that is Colin gave the go ahead, Victor would eat him up. He thinks about the size of Colin’s cock, how this mans compared to that, if it were smaller or longer. If Colin would ever let another man fuck him. Stefan trembles in his lap, Colin coos at him softly while never breaking the rhythm of conversation. 

Sometimes he would meet Victor’s eyes, watch him talk to Colin with familiarity. Stefan feels like entertainment, like something pretty to look at while old friends catch up. Colin at one point presses him thumb roughly into one of the marks on Stefan’s hip. He winces to keep from moaning and he watches while Victor swallows thickly. 

Eventually Victor stands, “I really must be going. Got finalize this hotel nonsense.” 

“Right,” Colin agrees. 

Victor walks to Stefan, taking a drag from his cigarette, roll ups- just like Colins. He comes to a stop at Stefan’s knees, looking down at him with meaning in his eyes. 

“Victor,” Colin warns. 

Victor ignores him, takes the cigarette out of his mouth and holds it up to Stefan’s lips. Stefan, without thinking, without feeling parts his lips and accepts the cig. His lips meet Victor’s finger tips, takes the cig, takes a drag without thinking- their eyes never part. 

“Nice to meet you, Stefan.” Victor says, low, warm. Stefan nods, in a daze. 

“Yeah- yeah, you as well.” He answers in a whisper. 

“I’m sure i’ll see you, Colin.” He says, stepping away, breaking the spell. He walks himself to the door. 

“Always welcome, Vic’.” Colin calls, standing with his arms holding Stefan in place against him. Stefan squeaks, throws his arms behind him to hold on. 

“Yeah.” Victor calls back, the door closing behind him. 

Colin deposits Stefan on the dining room table and pulls the pajama pants down. He spits into his palm, slicks himself in and pushes into Stefan where he’s still a bit loose from last night. He fucks Stefan harder than he’s ever given it to him before. Stefan trembles like a doe and tries to hold on, singing Colin’s praises all the while. 

They don’t talk about it. Three days later they come up to the apartment from work and Victor is there, leaning against the door frame, he spots them, smiles and holds up a quite large baggy of weed. 

“Got papers, mate?” Victor asks, Colin nods, opens the door for the three of them. Victor winks at Stefan as they pass and it makes him flush over his whole body. 

They take turns rolling, Colin and Victor and always let Stefan take the first hit. Stefan sits between them on the couch. He remembers sitting there, hands in his lap, unsure of what to do with himself without Colin telling him to. He remembers slowly sinking back into the couch on the first joint, remembers leaning against Colin on the second, remembers them all singing softly to The Eurythmics on the third with his head in Colin’s lap and his legs in Victors. 

By the fourth all of Stefan’s thought processes have boiled down to Colin’s hands in his hair, his thumb stroking over his lips, remembers him pulling up Stefan’s shirt like he had back when this all began. Now there is also Victor’s hand on his foot, thumb stroking in circles around the knob of his ankle. 

On the fifth they are all well and properly blazed and Stefan’s more fucked than he’s ever been. His body feels like it’s melting into the couch when he closes his eyes and solid when he opens them. He spends a good amount of time just blinking to feel the difference. 

Colin tuts at him, pulls him from the couch to straddle his lap. Stefan feels so blessed to be back in familiar territory he presses his lips to Colin’s without even thinking of their guest. Colin chuckles, kisses him back with meaning- wet, claiming kisses. Stefan feels like the two of them are floating in the ocean with no land in site. He can feel Colin pulling his hair, possessive, and Stefan moans- high and broken. 

He feels a shift from the other side of the couch and remembers Victor, all in a rush. He whines again, embarrassed this time. He wants to more, to get he and Colin out of this position but he holds him tight by the hips. Keeping him still. Stefan hides his face in Colin’s neck and grips his shirt tight. If this wasn’t right, Colin would fix it- he tells himself. 

I don't have to sell my soul  
He's already in me

“Gorgeous.” Victor says, he’s turned to face them on the couch. Stefan chances a glance at him, meets Victor’s hungry, bloodshot eyes and thinks about what he must look like to him. A little fucking tart grinding on his friends lap. 

Stefan looks away again, goes to hide his face but Colin is dragging him into another kiss, pushing his hips down onto Colin’s. 

Colin’s hard as well and that makes his breath hitch, makes him grind down on his own just to feel that hot line against his owns. He whimpers again, 

“Colin,” 

“It’s alright, my love. Vic’ doesn't mind.” Colin whispers in his ear, biting at the lobe. 

“Oh- um, ok.” Stefan answers, shaking in his whole body. 

“Bloody honored, I am.” Victor corrects. 

Stefan thinks about how Victor had looked, how Colin had touched for him and decides right that second to fuck it. 

Stefan leans back, peels his shirt off- sticky from sweat and dives back into the ocean. He can hear Victor’s breath hitch, no doubt at all the marks Colin leaves on him, like he’s starting Stefan a collection. Stefan gets lost in the kisses, in the movements of his hips, in the friction the build. His cock is so hard it hurts, he wants to be naked, he wants to feel the denim of Colin’s jeans on his thighs and the softness of his shirt on his cock. 

I want to be adored  
You adore me

“I want you to fuck me,” He moans in Colin’s ear loud enough, surely, for Victor to hear. 

“Of course, my love.” Colin answers, between sucking another mark into his neck. 

“Here?” Stefan asks, unsure whether he would mind if this person he doesn’t know watches him at his most vulnerable. 

Colin pauses, like he’s thinking about it.

“Not yet,” Colin says, standing with Stefan in his arms just like last time. Victor bids them goodnight as they head to their bedroom, having the decency to only sound a bit disappointed. 

Colin fucks him with the bedroom door open that night and then again in the morning before they all meet for tea in the kitchen. Stefan finds he has no trouble meeting Victor’s eyes. 

He wonders if it’s because it’s what Colin wants, or if it’s because it’s nice to have someone want him so badly but Stefan grows to not mind Victor’s presence at all. They are still under, he supposes, the look but don’t touch rule because Victor is always watching him when he’s around. He can see his hand’s twitch whenever Colin touches him, see the longing in his eyes- Stefan almost feels bad for the guy. 

“Do you want him to fuck me?” Stefan asks, while they smoke, just the two of them before bed. 

“Absolutely not.” Colin says, almost offended. 

“Than why-”

“I don’t even want him to touch you.” Colin continues. 

“Then why do you let him- uh, look at me like that and, um, watch us?” Stefan asks. 

Colin takes a breath, pulls Stefan closer and tucks him tight against him. 

“Me and Victor went to Uni together before I dropped out. He stayed, despite all i’ve done he thinks he’s done better than me. Like he needs to give me fucking advice.” Colin says, more worked up than Stefan has ever seen him. 

“He’s got a wife, two kids at home and works at fucking Radio Shack. You are the only thing I have that he doesn’t-” 

“You’re showing me off to him.” Stefan supplies. 

Colin leans above him, looking down, takes another breath. 

“Of everything i’ve ever done, all the money i’ve made, all the awards i’ve won- you,” Colin smooths a hand from Stefan’s thigh to his chest, “you are my prized possession.” 

Stefan fucking swoons. 

Later, when Victor’s back- apparently in town to visit family. Stefan wonders if that's what he’d told his wife- Stefan still feels a bit bad for him. Knowing now that he will never get to touch, but not bad enough to shut the door as he takes a bath, spread out and bare in the warm water. He knows what he looks like, Colin has a picture of it in his wallet. 

Colin comes in, to bring him tea and press a kiss to his lips, and Stefan looks behind him at Victor- who hangs in the doorway of the bathroom with his mouth open like a fish. Stefan deepens the kiss then, pulls Colin closer. He whispers in his ear- stage whispers more like because Victor can definitely hear.

“Get in with me, love.” Stefan whines when he says it, looking all over Colin and squirming in the water. 

Colin leans back, winking at him with a dark look in his eyes, “Can’t my love,” He says, denying Stefan because he knows Victor will never get the chance. 

Stefan glances back at Victor and relishes in the fact that the man looks like he wants nothing more than to slip in that bath with him. 

He’s gotten into the habit of dragging Colin to the bedroom whenever Victor’s over. The doors still open and he’ll be loud, scream Colin’s name over and over- Colin it’s so good, harder please, Colin fuck, oh my god- which is not to say he doesn’t do that anyway and it is good, Colin’s always so good. He firmly believes that Colin has ruined him for anyone else. Now, though, it’s out of spite. 

How dare anyone think themselves better than The Colin Ritman. How dare this man even think that Colin would share Stefan with him, that he even deserves him. 

When they rejoin Victor, Stefan can’t help but smile at him as he immediately excuses himself to the bathroom. 

He goes to steal Colin again a few days later when Colin stops him, “It’s Victor’s last day in town.” He says, meaning in his eyes. 

“Oh really?” Stefan asks, looking over to Victor who's eyes still bore into Stefan’s body hungrily. 

“Just wanted to stop by before my flight.” He says. 

“Hmm..” Stefan says, “He best grab a chair then. Right, Colin?” Stefan asks, looking up into Colin’s eyes- which flit around his face as if testing if he’s serious. Stefan nods at him and those eyes darken.

**Author's Note:**

> someone wanted some voyeurism, someone wanted some lap grinding, someone wanted them to fuck on the table, someone wanted some hair pulling love you
> 
> holler at me in the comments if you have any requests


End file.
